I spent twenty years working in animation. I love the medium, but most of the projects I worked on weren't intellectually stimulating or artistically satisfying. When I reached the twenty year benchmark, I decided that I had had enough, so I left animation and began pursuing a career as an artist. The last day at work was liberating; I felt exhilarated and like a child who is let out for summer holiday and runs across screaming the schoolyard, except that I was now on perpetual summer holidays.It's been a year since I struck out on my own. I've learned how to be a business woman and run my own online shop. I have specific goals that I want to achieve with the business, goals that will one day allow me to close the shop and paint full time. I have felt happiness and frustration at being my own boss- I still have much to learn but I like the challenges I face.
When I left animation, I realised that I had twenty years of commercial thinking to ease out of my mind, and a whole world of art-y thinking to look forward to and absorb. I realised the other day, after looking at the work that I was doing, that it didn't match the working artist ideal that I had in mind when I started the business. I was relying on making things that I thought would sell, instead of concentrating on making the kind of art I like and following my own expression. There is no broadcaster now to tell me what kind of content my art should have, I have no producer or director to answer to- the possibilities to what I can come up with are endless, and I owe it to myself to 'go for it' as I want. I made the decision to only make goods that satisfy a criteria I set for myself: A) The work is intellectually stimulating B) pushes my abilities and satisfies me creatively. Since I made this decision, I feel free from constraints, the ones I forged in my mind and the outside influences. I look forward to creating every day now.
